Willow continues to thrive. She is developing very well for her age and is SLOWLY gaining weight. At 8 weeks she is now weighing in at Over 7 pounds!! She is getting nearer the birth weight of her brothers! We are adjusting to the routine of an infant and I no longer am startled or shocked by the cry of a baby in my house. Although we had known that a "baby-born" (the baby is born, go get it) situation would be a possibility, it still did not mentally prepare me to have an infant literally overnight. Of course, if you have read all my posts on here, it is what I had wanted since I have little to no patience. It was still a huge adjustment from having a great deal if independence to having a very small infant and virtually being on house arrest.
I have been asked if I feel different towards Willow than I do towards my boys. I can honestly say that I have never saw any of my boys on the day they were born and thought they were either cute or that I was in love with them. I know some people say they do. Maybe, I was called to adopt because I was created this way. To me, love is a choice. I chose to love them and protect them and eventually I was to the point that I truly did. For me, it wasn't an instant attachment. With Willow, when we saw her she looked like a preemie. She had a small body, small head, and HUGE eyes. To be honest, she was not real cute. Neither were my boys! Squeak's first impression of Owen was that he 'looks like a troll'. However, with all my kids, Willow included, I have an overwhelming desire to protect them. I felt an instant desire to protect her from the cruelty she had already in her short life endured. She was exposed to drugs, dealing with a withdrawal, and left at the hospital by 2(!!) families. So, no. There is no difference to me. They are all my kids. Not because I carried them in my stomach, but because I am their mom.
Switching topics, Squeak and I would like to thank those that have donated towards our adoption expenses! We had initially not intended to adopt an infant due to cost, but slowly the other options were ruled out and we were left with no other choice. I am not saying that we are not happy about it. God was definitely behind this, as we would have never thought adoption was for us financially. You can read in a previous post how we were led to adoption and how the doors closed. My point is that if we knew at the beginning the expense that we would be getting into (>50k), we would not have attempted this. God is good and He has made it possible. We do have a LifeSong account for anyone that is interested in financially assisting us. PLEASE do not feel obligated. I know that some people have a heart for adoption and want to help. If you are not sure of what LifeSong is, I will give a very basic description and a link to research for yourself. http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/about/our-story/ or http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/adoption-funding/adoption-grants/ LifeSong for Orphans is an organization that helps with raising funds or offering grants and loans that enables potential adoptive couples to reach their financial goal of helping an orphan. 100% of all donations to Lifesong for Orphans will go to caring for orphans (no administrative costs will be deducted). All US based fundraising and administrative costs are paid for by TMG Foundation and other partners. Another thing to note is that no money is given to the adoptive couple unless they have a receipt of paid expenses. Usually, LifeSong will pay the billers directly from the individual families account. In other words, we will not be making money off of our adoption! In the event that a family would raise MORE than needed for their adoption, the excess donations will go into an account from which LifeSong can donate to another adoptive family. Squeak and I, along with Mark and April Dotterer, are starting a branch of LifeSong in our area! We have named it "For This Child" which was taken from 1 Samuel 1:27- For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted my petition made to Him. While we were in our adoption process, we had numerous couples express a desire to adopt with only the cost holding them back. We will try to raise funds to enable other couples to heed the call of adoption where they may have otherwise thought themselves to be financially unable. So, any donations made to our individual account will go towards our incredible expenses. If we were to raise enough to help with our adoption expenses, the overflow will go into our For This Child account to continue to help those in our area that would like to adopt. Also, any yearly donations that exceed $250.00 will receive a tax deductible receipt directly from LifeSong. They will honor donations from donors that would like to remain anonymous, they will still get a receipt but the account holder will not know who donated to their fund. For those that are interested, our LifeSong information is as follows.
All checks can be made payable to : LifeSong for Orphans with Riggenbach #3089 in the memo line.
Mail to: Lifesong for Orphans
PO Box 40
Gridley, IL 61744
To donate to our LifeSong account online, follow this link: http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate/
Another option would be to donate directly to our For This Child branch of LifeSong to help a local couple adopt, the check can be made payable to: LifeSong for Orphans with For This Child in the memo line.
This is listed as the Method of LifeSong: We seek to mobilize the church, His body, where each member can provide a unique and special service: some to adopt, some to care, some to give. Each of us fits into the above three categories. Some of us are called to adopt, some of us are called to give, and some of us are called to care. If you don't feel called to adopt, and you don't feel called to give, then please feel called to care. There are SO many orphans that could use prayers! We all have an important part in the church.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Oct 12, 2012
Willow is doing great! She had another Dr appointment yesterday to monitor her methadone weaning, and they said since she is doing so well we can lower her dose a bit faster. She is on (and always has been) a very low amount of methadone. At the beginning she was on 0.2mg's and is now down to 0.12mg's. We were told to wait 3 days between lowering her dose to verify that she is tolerating the smaller amount before decreasing it further. They're now saying we can go down as we feel she's ready. The Dr.'s in California lower their babies to 0.10mg's then stop giving the methadone. Here, the Cleveland Clinic neonatalogists recommend lowering their babies to 0.05mg's before quitting.
She has only had 1 day since we started weaning her that she was exhibiting withdrawl symptoms and was pretty fussy. She did really well and after 24hrs she was back to herself. Her main symptom was being constantly irritable, sneezing, and couldn't sleep/ relax . She was easily consoled and did better when held but it was obvious she didn't feel good.
She was 5.8 lbs last week at the Dr. and this week is a whole 6.0 lbs!!! She eats really well, she is awake and MAD if we are late with her bottle. They want her to eat 1.5 ounces every 3 hours but she has let me know that 2.5-3 ounces is what she prefers. She is still very small but has come a long way and is continuing to be a very strong and alert baby!
Nov 4, 2012
Friday, Oct 19 was the last day that Willow was given Methadone. She was not happy about being drug-free. She was cranky on Saturday and changed to angry Saturday night, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Thursday evening, she improved and Friday she was back to the happy and sleepy baby we had glimpses of during the weaning process. Overall, she was on Methadone for almost a month after birth. That is what they had originally told us to expect; I am SO thankful that we were able to bring her home to continue the weaning from home since the original plan was to be in the California hospital until completed.
The past 2 weeks were interesting! Willow was finally done with seeing the Dr weekly! In celebration, we began with Wyatt missing 3 of 4 days of school last week with a fever, runny nose, and headache. Our family did get to make another appearance at the Doctor's (I feel we should soon get a designated parking spot) and he ended up on a steroid to help him get over the 'viral crud' he was diagnosed with having. That really seemed to help. Oliver was the next to catch the 'viral crud' followed closely by Owen, Squeak and myself. It is a nasty head cold, not horrible, but certainly not enjoyable.
Oliver wasn't slowed down that much by the cold. He spends his days doing puzzles, waking Willow, and doing spins or 'wheel-carts' (cart-wheels). While doing a puzzle, he took a break to lay out a blanket for Willow to lay on so she could watch him. He was spinning (think break dancing type moves) on the blanket and face planted the corner of our coffee table. Back to the doctor! He was super-glued back together. An impressive parenting fact... at 3 yrs old... this is his 3rd set of stitches / gluing.
And finally, Willow caught the viral mess that the rest of us had. She had a high fever and a congested nose. Lucky for her, she is under 2 months which means the Doctor wouldn't see us. Or, maybe he was sick of seeing us.. Either way, we were referred directly to the ED at Children's. An IV, blood draws, cultures, RSV swabs, caths, X rays, a lengthy discussion with 20+ (slight exaggeration) people on why I am refusing a spinal tap until results of the previous tests are completed and show it is needed, and a 24+ hour admission to the hospital showed that..... Willow has a VIRUS! Of course, I realize that it was the responsible thing to do to take her in to get checked out. Any child under the age of 2 months with a fever is referred to the ED. It was slightly frustrating to watch her go through all of the testing.
So that's how we have been spending our time!
The past 2 weeks were interesting! Willow was finally done with seeing the Dr weekly! In celebration, we began with Wyatt missing 3 of 4 days of school last week with a fever, runny nose, and headache. Our family did get to make another appearance at the Doctor's (I feel we should soon get a designated parking spot) and he ended up on a steroid to help him get over the 'viral crud' he was diagnosed with having. That really seemed to help. Oliver was the next to catch the 'viral crud' followed closely by Owen, Squeak and myself. It is a nasty head cold, not horrible, but certainly not enjoyable.
Oliver wasn't slowed down that much by the cold. He spends his days doing puzzles, waking Willow, and doing spins or 'wheel-carts' (cart-wheels). While doing a puzzle, he took a break to lay out a blanket for Willow to lay on so she could watch him. He was spinning (think break dancing type moves) on the blanket and face planted the corner of our coffee table. Back to the doctor! He was super-glued back together. An impressive parenting fact... at 3 yrs old... this is his 3rd set of stitches / gluing.
And finally, Willow caught the viral mess that the rest of us had. She had a high fever and a congested nose. Lucky for her, she is under 2 months which means the Doctor wouldn't see us. Or, maybe he was sick of seeing us.. Either way, we were referred directly to the ED at Children's. An IV, blood draws, cultures, RSV swabs, caths, X rays, a lengthy discussion with 20+ (slight exaggeration) people on why I am refusing a spinal tap until results of the previous tests are completed and show it is needed, and a 24+ hour admission to the hospital showed that..... Willow has a VIRUS! Of course, I realize that it was the responsible thing to do to take her in to get checked out. Any child under the age of 2 months with a fever is referred to the ED. It was slightly frustrating to watch her go through all of the testing.
So that's how we have been spending our time!
Willow was born in Mission Viejo,(Orange County) CA on Monday, 9/17/12 at 445am. It seems strange that we were not affected by her birthday, we had a very normal Monday. Her birth parents were both present for the birth. They had travelled 13 hours(!!) south to meet with our adoption agency and had another prenatal doctor appointment scheduled for Monday. Sunday evening, the birth mother went into labor and delivered early Monday morning. They had already chosen an adoptive family and this couple was able to be there for the birth. When Willow was born, she tested positive for Methadone. Drug testing was then done on the birth mom and she was (obv) also positive for a drugs. This set off a series of events:
Since the mom and baby were both positive for drugs at birth, the hospital is required by law to call Children's Protective Services (CPS). CPS came to the hospital to take custody of the baby but when they found that the birth parents had previously made an adoption plan, they left.
The chosen adoptive family verbally backed out of the adoption when the baby was positive for drugs. The adoption agency convinced them to stay at the hospital until they could find another family for the baby so CPS would not take her and place her in the foster care system.
Immediately after delivery, the birth parents wanted to be discharged so they could go home. They live 13 hours away on the border of Oregon and California. They wanted to leave, the mother was afraid of getting in trouble for testing positive for illegal and precription drugs (not prescribed to her). The father (6'4" and 250#'s) was thrown out of the hospital during the delivery for being aggressive, screaming, and threatening the staff and birth mom. It must have been a pretty big deal, each day the nurses would add another interesting detail of his performance. Somehow, his glasses got broke and they were accusing him of being on drugs. He was removed by the hospital security and the sheriff dept. He was no longer allowed on the hospital grounds and the sheriff dept was stationed at the entrances, along with photos of him posted throughout the hospital to ensure this. Because of all this, as soon as they were able the birth parents signed over the medical rights of the baby to the adoptive family there. They were willing to sign over legal custody also, but the adoptive family still unofficially was choosing to back out. The birth parents were not willing to stay in the area for another couple of days to sign rights when the agency could locate another family (us) that would take the baby. Since the birth mom couldn't sign over custody, she was required to name the baby. (baby name #1). They left and went back home.
We were called on Tuesday 9/18 at about 10pm and they stated that a caucasian baby girl had been born and at that time it LOOKED like the family chosen was going to back out. They were not positive but they had to know if we would take the baby if the family decided to back out. Honestly, this was a huge struggle for me. I wanted to adopt because we were told that there is a HUGE need for homes for bi-racial / multi- racial/ and african american babies in the USA. A caucasian girl was not what I was expecting or wanted. I wanted to help a child that could not find a home. Many adoptive families want caucasian girls, I wanted to give a child that nobody else would help the love and safety they deserved. There was a lot of praying and a great deal of "God moments" shown to me before I was able to say that I felt like we should go get her. I struggled with this for a few days and suddenly, while talking out my thoughts, it hit me. This tiny baby cannot find a home. She is a girl and she is caucasian, but she has had TWO families turn her down. I was filled with such compassion for this poor little soul, laying in the NICU- fighting a drug withdrawl thanks to her birth mom, with nobody that even cared. An old Norah Jones song popped into my head from out of the blue. It's called Seven Years and the words struck me. Interestingly, everywhere I went that song was playing. The background music at the store, doctor's office, randomly on the radio, and constantly in my head. I'm not sure of the meaning of the words, but my interpretation is of a little girl that is trying everything to get someone to notice her. Here are the words:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7wyidF2YFk .
The adoptive family at the hospital also named her (baby name #2) before officially backing out late Weds night. Because they and the birth parents all left her at the hospital, CPS was again called. They placed a hold on her and on Monday morning they were to file the paperwork to take custody of her. Her name became Baby Girl Doe (name #3).
Thursday morning, our agency called and confirmed that the previous adoptive family officially backed out and "the little girl, with nothing wrong, that's all alone" was ours and we needed to fly to CA asap. We were able to arrive Friday afternoon. Since CPS had a hold on Willow Gail (baby name #4) our agency and lawyers worked very hard and found an Adoption Service Provider that lived closer to the birth parents. This man and a lawyer met with the birth parents and all papers were signed Thursday evening. The birth parents also waived their rights to a 10 grace period and traded it for a 24 hour period where they could change their minds and come back for Willow. By the time we arrived at the hospital on Friday, the previous adoptive couple had signed off, the birth parents rights were irrevocably terminated, and CPS had removed the hold on Willow. Our lawyer states he has never had such a legal mess "miraculously" change in such a short amount of time! She is 100% legally ours but the adoption will not be final through the courts for at least 6 months. When we got to the hospital, we found a precious little girl, all alone. The nursing staff had dressed her up and "tried to make her pretty so we would want her". The name above her Isolette said "Baby Girl Doe" as did all her charts. It struck me that in that instant this little girl went from Baby Girl Doe who had nobody to Willow Gail Riggenbach who has a huge family and SO many people that love her!
Since the mom and baby were both positive for drugs at birth, the hospital is required by law to call Children's Protective Services (CPS). CPS came to the hospital to take custody of the baby but when they found that the birth parents had previously made an adoption plan, they left.
The chosen adoptive family verbally backed out of the adoption when the baby was positive for drugs. The adoption agency convinced them to stay at the hospital until they could find another family for the baby so CPS would not take her and place her in the foster care system.
Immediately after delivery, the birth parents wanted to be discharged so they could go home. They live 13 hours away on the border of Oregon and California. They wanted to leave, the mother was afraid of getting in trouble for testing positive for illegal and precription drugs (not prescribed to her). The father (6'4" and 250#'s) was thrown out of the hospital during the delivery for being aggressive, screaming, and threatening the staff and birth mom. It must have been a pretty big deal, each day the nurses would add another interesting detail of his performance. Somehow, his glasses got broke and they were accusing him of being on drugs. He was removed by the hospital security and the sheriff dept. He was no longer allowed on the hospital grounds and the sheriff dept was stationed at the entrances, along with photos of him posted throughout the hospital to ensure this. Because of all this, as soon as they were able the birth parents signed over the medical rights of the baby to the adoptive family there. They were willing to sign over legal custody also, but the adoptive family still unofficially was choosing to back out. The birth parents were not willing to stay in the area for another couple of days to sign rights when the agency could locate another family (us) that would take the baby. Since the birth mom couldn't sign over custody, she was required to name the baby. (baby name #1). They left and went back home.
We were called on Tuesday 9/18 at about 10pm and they stated that a caucasian baby girl had been born and at that time it LOOKED like the family chosen was going to back out. They were not positive but they had to know if we would take the baby if the family decided to back out. Honestly, this was a huge struggle for me. I wanted to adopt because we were told that there is a HUGE need for homes for bi-racial / multi- racial/ and african american babies in the USA. A caucasian girl was not what I was expecting or wanted. I wanted to help a child that could not find a home. Many adoptive families want caucasian girls, I wanted to give a child that nobody else would help the love and safety they deserved. There was a lot of praying and a great deal of "God moments" shown to me before I was able to say that I felt like we should go get her. I struggled with this for a few days and suddenly, while talking out my thoughts, it hit me. This tiny baby cannot find a home. She is a girl and she is caucasian, but she has had TWO families turn her down. I was filled with such compassion for this poor little soul, laying in the NICU- fighting a drug withdrawl thanks to her birth mom, with nobody that even cared. An old Norah Jones song popped into my head from out of the blue. It's called Seven Years and the words struck me. Interestingly, everywhere I went that song was playing. The background music at the store, doctor's office, randomly on the radio, and constantly in my head. I'm not sure of the meaning of the words, but my interpretation is of a little girl that is trying everything to get someone to notice her. Here are the words:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7wyidF2YFk .
The adoptive family at the hospital also named her (baby name #2) before officially backing out late Weds night. Because they and the birth parents all left her at the hospital, CPS was again called. They placed a hold on her and on Monday morning they were to file the paperwork to take custody of her. Her name became Baby Girl Doe (name #3).
Thursday morning, our agency called and confirmed that the previous adoptive family officially backed out and "the little girl, with nothing wrong, that's all alone" was ours and we needed to fly to CA asap. We were able to arrive Friday afternoon. Since CPS had a hold on Willow Gail (baby name #4) our agency and lawyers worked very hard and found an Adoption Service Provider that lived closer to the birth parents. This man and a lawyer met with the birth parents and all papers were signed Thursday evening. The birth parents also waived their rights to a 10 grace period and traded it for a 24 hour period where they could change their minds and come back for Willow. By the time we arrived at the hospital on Friday, the previous adoptive couple had signed off, the birth parents rights were irrevocably terminated, and CPS had removed the hold on Willow. Our lawyer states he has never had such a legal mess "miraculously" change in such a short amount of time! She is 100% legally ours but the adoption will not be final through the courts for at least 6 months. When we got to the hospital, we found a precious little girl, all alone. The nursing staff had dressed her up and "tried to make her pretty so we would want her". The name above her Isolette said "Baby Girl Doe" as did all her charts. It struck me that in that instant this little girl went from Baby Girl Doe who had nobody to Willow Gail Riggenbach who has a huge family and SO many people that love her!
Written Sep 27, 2012 6:11pm
Willow is doing very good. She has been discharged from the hospital today, which is great! We were also approved by the California office of ICPC which is the office that allows us to LEAVE the state with her. The paperwork then gets emailed to the Ohio office of ICPC to have them approve us to ENTER the state with her. This SHOULD take anywhere from 24-48 hours to do, depending on the caseload they have. They were expecting the Ohio ICPC to be approved today or tomorrow and then we could fly home friday evening. So... today we were approved in CA and when they emailed the paperwork to Ohio, we found that the ONLY person (in the whole state) that is able to approve us is OFF until Monday! Soo very frustrating! So now we've been discharged and we are confined to our hotel room. Willow is too small and we are not willing to expose her to whatever germs by leaving the hotel to see the sights. We also don't have a car because we are trying to limit cost and our hotel had a service that would take us to and from the hospital. We have spent soo far above what we had originally planned on this adoption (totally worth it and not complaining) but the extra 5 days in a hotel and paying to switch flights is not really an exciting change of events. Obviously, we are not going to add to the extra cost by renting a car to entertain ourselves. Another GREAT Bonus is that Willow was released early to go home to continue weaning her there. Since we wont be home in less than 3 days, we need to find and take her to a doctor tomorrow. Thats really fun. However.... I really think my favorite part of this delay is that apparently our hotel is under renovations that take place during the day. We never knew it because we were always at the hospital, but now are enjoying the full extent of what sounds like a jackhammer running in the room above ours. Poor Willow is taking it pretty well.
So, that's my update for today. I am extremely frustrated but know that we have been very blessed to get such a sweet baby girl. I promised Squeak that if we can change hotels (closer to the airport since we dont have to be close to the hospital anymore) after our dr appointment tomorrow, I would really try to adjust my attitude for the better.
We are missing the boys greatly but thankful for all the helpers we have had to take care of them. -Laura
So, that's my update for today. I am extremely frustrated but know that we have been very blessed to get such a sweet baby girl. I promised Squeak that if we can change hotels (closer to the airport since we dont have to be close to the hospital anymore) after our dr appointment tomorrow, I would really try to adjust my attitude for the better.
We are missing the boys greatly but thankful for all the helpers we have had to take care of them. -Laura
prayer request!
Written Sep 30, 2012 10:02pm
Tomorrow is the day that the only person in Ohio that can approve our ICPC paperwork gets back! Please pray that we can pass as soon as possible. We have many reasons to want to get back soon. We miss our boys at home and while they're doing very well, they are feeling the difference. Wyatt has been taking it hard and has been crying a lot in school. I feel terrible but know that this is a brief time and hopefully it will soon be over. Another important reason is that Willow needs to continue her weaning off methadone. They dont recommend any changes in her prescription until we are home as it isnt good to wean her and have her need a 'rescue dose' when we are in California or at the airport. where we don't have access to her pediatrician. It goes without saying that we would obviously want her weaned as quickly as possible, and it has been on hold for a week now. Lastly, (selfishly) we are tacking up a lot of expenses by staying. We had to change both of our flights ($), stay a few days longer, and with taxi costs and food its getting up there! We are also going stir crazy locked in this hotel room! I know that Willow is too small to take out and expose her to the world, but..... wow am I bored!! She is not awake more than 3-4 hours a day and the remainder she sleeps. There is nothing to do when she's sleeping! I know that God hears our prayers.
Written Oct 1, 2012 6:27pm
Today we found out that the icpc paperwork sent from CA to OH on Thursday was......... lost. Ohio could not find it. When they were able to locate it, it was a small portion of what they needed. They think that the email attachments were too large to send it completely. Another bonus is apparently OH thinks CA filled out some paper wrong. We were able to contact our lawyer and have him get the CA office to fax all the papers to the OH office. As of now, I believe OH has the paperwork needed. I am not sure how much this will delay us from getting back. I don't know if we will now be at the end of the line or if there is even a line. Squeak flew home today to be with our boys. Willow and I will fly home when our ICPC is approved.
Written Oct 6, 2012 8:16pm
Sorry I haven't updated this, it has been pretty busy the last few days! Tuesday Willow was cleared by Ohio ICPC to leave California and come home to Ohio. It was pretty crazy, I booked the soonest flight and was packed and at the airport by 8am (PST) to fly out at 9:20. You would really not believe the number of people that were obsessed / curious / appalled by Willow's size and the fact that she was already in public and flying. I had many comments and questions about being alone, why we were flying, and how great I looked for recently giving birth to an infant! :)
The morning went very smooth, I made it to my gate with plenty of time to make my flight to Houston. From Houston I only had an hour layover and was to be in Cleveland by 6. Unfortunately, if I was on time didn't matter much when my plane was 2 hours late arriving. The United staff handled everything and assured us that since there were 26 passengers headed to Cleveland from my flight, Houston was going to hold the plane to wait for us. That was a huge relief until we landed in Houston and the plane had left on time. Willow and I had a 5.5 hour wait for the next available flight to Cleveland. For those of you that know how I despise attention and almost get physically ill at the idea of having to make small talk with strangers will be glad to know that Willow was basically a magnet for every person in the airport. I met very nice people and shared most of my life story with everyone at the airport, but in particular, a very kind women on both of my same flights. Right before we boarded our final flight, she told me that she had been drawn to Willow since she first saw her in CA that morning. She wrote down her name and email and asked me to give her updates on Willow's life the whole way through. This story is very in depth, but the shortened version ends with her asking about long term effects that Willow may have from prenatal drug exposure. I relayed what the doctors told me, which is that she may in the long run but they do not expect her to as she does not exhibit any delays/ symptoms that they would have expected to see. They give her a 99% chance of not having any long term effects. I said she must have a guardian angel that was protecting her in the womb. This woman got really quiet and said " Actually, that's why I have been so drawn to her. That's what I do. I can see angels. She actually has had 3 angels around her the whole day." I really don't know what I think of that, I don't know this woman but we had talked about Christianity and she is a believer. Another interesting part, a coworker of mine says she prayed extra hard for me since I was going to be travelling alone and says she was praying that we would have extra guardian angels to help us get home safely. Interesting. God is powerful and able to do these things, who am I to say it wasn't true?
We did make it home late Tuesday / early Wednesday morning. Our flights were good, Willow slept the whole time. The boys have been great, Willow has LOTS of Love!!
The morning went very smooth, I made it to my gate with plenty of time to make my flight to Houston. From Houston I only had an hour layover and was to be in Cleveland by 6. Unfortunately, if I was on time didn't matter much when my plane was 2 hours late arriving. The United staff handled everything and assured us that since there were 26 passengers headed to Cleveland from my flight, Houston was going to hold the plane to wait for us. That was a huge relief until we landed in Houston and the plane had left on time. Willow and I had a 5.5 hour wait for the next available flight to Cleveland. For those of you that know how I despise attention and almost get physically ill at the idea of having to make small talk with strangers will be glad to know that Willow was basically a magnet for every person in the airport. I met very nice people and shared most of my life story with everyone at the airport, but in particular, a very kind women on both of my same flights. Right before we boarded our final flight, she told me that she had been drawn to Willow since she first saw her in CA that morning. She wrote down her name and email and asked me to give her updates on Willow's life the whole way through. This story is very in depth, but the shortened version ends with her asking about long term effects that Willow may have from prenatal drug exposure. I relayed what the doctors told me, which is that she may in the long run but they do not expect her to as she does not exhibit any delays/ symptoms that they would have expected to see. They give her a 99% chance of not having any long term effects. I said she must have a guardian angel that was protecting her in the womb. This woman got really quiet and said " Actually, that's why I have been so drawn to her. That's what I do. I can see angels. She actually has had 3 angels around her the whole day." I really don't know what I think of that, I don't know this woman but we had talked about Christianity and she is a believer. Another interesting part, a coworker of mine says she prayed extra hard for me since I was going to be travelling alone and says she was praying that we would have extra guardian angels to help us get home safely. Interesting. God is powerful and able to do these things, who am I to say it wasn't true?
We did make it home late Tuesday / early Wednesday morning. Our flights were good, Willow slept the whole time. The boys have been great, Willow has LOTS of Love!!
09/23/12
At a later date, I will explain how we got to the point we are with our adoption. For now, I am just going to give a quick update on how Willow is doing. I have very limited internet at the hospital and am not actually allowed to use my phone in the NICU. So.. Willow was born 9/17 at 4:14 am in Mission Viejo,CA. She was 5.3 lbs and 18 inches long. Her gestational age was 38 weeks but they're estimating her to be actually younger, about 36 weeks. Her birthmother tested positive for a cocktail of drugs and Willow did also. The adoptive family lined up chose to back out and we were called. We accepted and took off to CA. When we arrived, Willow was 4.13lbs, not eating well, and had a NG tube for feeding. She is being weaned with methadone to help her transition from the drugs that were in her system. The weaning process could be anywhere from 2 weeks to months depending on how she tolerates the process. Willow is progressively doing better. Saturday she started to eat her whole feedings on her own. She is rated very low on the drug withdrawal scale. She has been scoring around a 3-6 on a scale from 0 (best) to 20 (worst) with the highest rating she's had being an 11. On Sunday evening they removed her feeding tube and they began the weaning process since she's been stable at the low dose of methadone they started her on. She has been eating better than expected, they require her to eat a minimum of 37cc's every 3 hours amd she's been doing anywhere from 45-60. She has tolerated the weaned amt of methadone very well and is staying around a 3 on her withdrawal scoring. She's slowly gaining weight and is now weighing in at a whopping 5 pounds! She is very cute, with large dimples and very large eyes. We are hoping that as she continues to grow.. she grows into her eyes. ;)
Her doctors and nurses here at the Childrens Hospital of Orange County NICU have been very good and are willing to possibly send us home on the methadone. That will allow us to continue the weaning process at home rather than stay in CA for the next month. They are still working on the details and the laws that govern these things.
As for the legal side, all papers have been signed and Willow is officially ours. At a later time, I will explain the miracle that must have taken place to get the mess that was happening to having the papers signed in such a small amount of time.
Thank you all for the prayers on our behalf!
At a later date, I will explain how we got to the point we are with our adoption. For now, I am just going to give a quick update on how Willow is doing. I have very limited internet at the hospital and am not actually allowed to use my phone in the NICU. So.. Willow was born 9/17 at 4:14 am in Mission Viejo,CA. She was 5.3 lbs and 18 inches long. Her gestational age was 38 weeks but they're estimating her to be actually younger, about 36 weeks. Her birthmother tested positive for a cocktail of drugs and Willow did also. The adoptive family lined up chose to back out and we were called. We accepted and took off to CA. When we arrived, Willow was 4.13lbs, not eating well, and had a NG tube for feeding. She is being weaned with methadone to help her transition from the drugs that were in her system. The weaning process could be anywhere from 2 weeks to months depending on how she tolerates the process. Willow is progressively doing better. Saturday she started to eat her whole feedings on her own. She is rated very low on the drug withdrawal scale. She has been scoring around a 3-6 on a scale from 0 (best) to 20 (worst) with the highest rating she's had being an 11. On Sunday evening they removed her feeding tube and they began the weaning process since she's been stable at the low dose of methadone they started her on. She has been eating better than expected, they require her to eat a minimum of 37cc's every 3 hours amd she's been doing anywhere from 45-60. She has tolerated the weaned amt of methadone very well and is staying around a 3 on her withdrawal scoring. She's slowly gaining weight and is now weighing in at a whopping 5 pounds! She is very cute, with large dimples and very large eyes. We are hoping that as she continues to grow.. she grows into her eyes. ;)
Her doctors and nurses here at the Childrens Hospital of Orange County NICU have been very good and are willing to possibly send us home on the methadone. That will allow us to continue the weaning process at home rather than stay in CA for the next month. They are still working on the details and the laws that govern these things.
As for the legal side, all papers have been signed and Willow is officially ours. At a later time, I will explain the miracle that must have taken place to get the mess that was happening to having the papers signed in such a small amount of time.
Thank you all for the prayers on our behalf!
Friday, August 17, 2012
Waiting...
For those of you that know me, you know that patience is really not a strong point of mine. I like order, routine, a schedule, and generally to know what I'm waiting on or how long I will be waiting. With adoption, all this goes out the window. We are approved for a child under the age of our youngest son (3 years) and have no specifications on gender or race. We could get a child up to the age of three or an infant. We could get called with a referral of a toddler up for adoption to come and start visits. We may get called today and be told there is a baby that's born and we have to leave immediately to pick him/her up. We may get a call today to say we have been chosen by a birth mother and she is due in April of 2013. We may not get chosen for weeks, or months, or... ever. I trust that God has placed us on this adoption journey because He has a child in mind that He wants to be in our family. But, I don't know if this child is yet born or even conceived. It really doesn't go well with my personality. I want to know. I want to plan. I want to know how much we need to save and what color to paint the baby room. If I really let myself think, I can get very stressed about the small details. Oliver, our youngest, is three. He has been out of diapers for over a year. It will be hard to go back into diapers and bottles. I really don't know how much of a gap I want in the ages of my kids. Owen is 8, Wyatt is 5, Oliver is 3. They are all about 2.5 - 3 years apart. That was unplanned, we had fertility issues. It all worked out. We survived. I need to give it to God to worry about and when I do, I feel better. I need to focus on the child that needs us and on the baby that doesn't have a home. I will be very happy with an infant just as I would be happy with a toddler. I went from no diapers to diapers with each new child we brought home. This is not a new thought for me. It is also not a secret that I am not a huge fan of the first few months of life. God gives an unconditional love to parents that allows us to think the screaming bundle of joy is still cute. I am one of the strange people that would rather try to comfort a crying baby than hold a sleeping baby. I enjoy the challenge. I guess my point is God knows what is best for my family and He knows who needs us as much as we need him or her. He knows if it will be an infant or toddler and a boy or girl. It is the unknown and waiting that I have a hard time with.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
"For This Child" - 1 Samuel 1:27
Guess WHAT!? My husband and I, along with another couple from our church, are starting our own adoption fund as a branch of LifeSong for Orphans called "For This Child"! We came up with the name from 1 Samuel 1:27- 'For this child I prayed, and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of Him'. To find out more about LifeSong adoption funds, you may follow this link. www.lifesongfororphans.org/adoptFund.html Basically, we will set up the parameters and do the fund raising, and LifeSong will take care (100% free) of the taxes, receipts, paperwork, and even review and make recommendations of applicants for us. We, of course, will have the final say and can adjust according to need or funds coming or going. The great part about this fund is 100% of donations will be used towards adoption funding and any amount over $250.00 given yearly is eligible for a tax-deductible receipt. There is also a 'preferred donation' option in which a donor can mark on their check whom they would like their gift to go towards and it will go into that person's "For This Child's" account to be used toward their adoption. This is an option that is not available through many other avenues. Through this fund we will be able to offer matching grants to potential adoptive parents and even offer zero interest loans. That is a huge benefit to many couples adopting when the average cost is $35-60+ THOUSAND dollars. Another very cool fund raising option available is 'Both Hands- one for the orphan, one for the widow'. Essentially, one would raise funds for their adoption by doing a significant home improvement project for a widow. Here would be more information on this great ministry. www.lifesongfororphans.org/bothHands.html
This was a quote taken from LifeSong's Facebook page. I find it very convicting.-Today, ask God that of the 2 billion Christians in the world, 7% would show hope to a single orphan, looking after the child in their distress… Ask the Lord to convict the church around the world that if we did this, there would effectively be no more orphans. Ask the Lord to show each of His followers that we can each do something. - We CAN all do something. We may not ALL be called to adopt, but we ARE all called to LOVE and FIGHT for the oppressed. Isaiah 1:17- Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the Fatherless, Plead the case of the widow.
James 1:27-Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.
If you would be interested in helping us adopt or helping others reach their goal, please comment and I will forward you the information needed.
This was a quote taken from LifeSong's Facebook page. I find it very convicting.-Today, ask God that of the 2 billion Christians in the world, 7% would show hope to a single orphan, looking after the child in their distress… Ask the Lord to convict the church around the world that if we did this, there would effectively be no more orphans. Ask the Lord to show each of His followers that we can each do something. - We CAN all do something. We may not ALL be called to adopt, but we ARE all called to LOVE and FIGHT for the oppressed. Isaiah 1:17- Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the Fatherless, Plead the case of the widow.
James 1:27-Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.
If you would be interested in helping us adopt or helping others reach their goal, please comment and I will forward you the information needed.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Job
SO.. I love the book of Job. Almost everything about it. I am not a bible scholar, so this is MY interpretation. It may not be 100% correct but it is the way that I see it. I love the beginning when Job is introduced as a very, very rich and blessed man. I like that his family is a close family and enjoys being together. I love that Job offers sacrifices for his family, just in case they have sinned.
I think it is interesting that the sons of God and Satan came to present themselves before the Lord. The Lord asked where they were and Satan replies 'From going to and fro on the earth and walking up and down on it'. I find it interesting that that Lord is SO pleased with Job that he points him out to Satan to show him, 'look, Job is such a great man. Do as you want to him and he will still worship me.' He allows Satan, not once, but twice, to take all he owns and his family first and then his own health! Job then, covered in painful boils, gets to deal with great loss- the loss of riches, the loss of his sons and daughters, the loss of his possessions, but also his wife to tell him to 'curse God and die'. He has three "friends" come in his time of need to counsel him and tell him there is obviously something that you have done to provoke the wrath of God!
What has really struck me is after Job has listened to his friends and defended God's righteousness throughout, in 29 he begins to defend himself. He starts with when God was watching over him and he talks about how others respected him because of his deeds.
Job 29:12-17- Because I delivered the poor who cried out, the fatherless and the one who had no helper. The blessing of a perishing man came upon me, And I caused the widow's heart to sing for joy. I put on righteousness, and it clothed me; My justice was like a robe and a turban. I was eyes to the blind, and I was feet to the lame. I was a father to the poor, and I searched out the case that I did not know. I broke the fangs of the wicked, And I plucked the victim from his teeth.
I do not know if Job financially supported or physically adopted the fatherless that he speaks of. I find it interesting that he twice in these verses states that he 'delivered the fatherless and the one that had no helper' and 'I was a father to the poor'. Supporting the fatherless has really been jumping out at me lately, since and before we have officially decided to adopt. I guess it is something I had not really noticed before in Job.
Anyway, Job goes on to get frustrated with God. He knows he did not do anything to anger God, yet he feels baffled by God's silence through his trials. And again, I am not trying to pretend I understand all of the book of Job. This is my interpretation. And Job's friend jumps in again with the wrath of God on a self-righteous man. And then.. My favorite chapters in the bible. Although I would not want to be Job that God is talking to in the whirlwind, I cannot help but think that these verses have been aimed at me many times!
Have YOU ever wondered "why ME, or Why God, is this happening?
Job 38:3-"I will question (insert your name) and (insert your name) will answer GOD!"
Scary? My bible states on the side "the one that cannot answer these questions about the universe dare not correct the One who planned and maintains it". How true.
Job 38:4-11- Where were YOU when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell Me, if YOU have understanding. Who determined it's measurements? Surely YOU know! Or who stretched the line upon it? Or to what were it's foundations fastened? Or who laid it's cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together, And all the sons of God shouted for Joy? Or WHO shut in the sea with doors, When it burst forth and issued from the womb; when I made the clouds it's garment, and the thick darkness it's swaddling band; When I fixed my limit for it, and set bars and doors; when I said 'This far you may come, but no further, and here your proud waves must stop!'
I love the remaining chapters in Job! I stoped at verse 11 but I encourage you to read the remaining chapters to see the power of God. He speaks of walking in the treasury of hail and snow reserved for the time of troubles, and entering the springs of the sea or searching for the depths of the oceans. How amazing. The power and majesty of God is revealed but also His love for Job and us all. God gave Job the power to offer a sacrifice to ask forgiveness for his friends. He restored Job his losses and doubled all he had originally had. What a wonderful and loving God we serve!
I think it is interesting that the sons of God and Satan came to present themselves before the Lord. The Lord asked where they were and Satan replies 'From going to and fro on the earth and walking up and down on it'. I find it interesting that that Lord is SO pleased with Job that he points him out to Satan to show him, 'look, Job is such a great man. Do as you want to him and he will still worship me.' He allows Satan, not once, but twice, to take all he owns and his family first and then his own health! Job then, covered in painful boils, gets to deal with great loss- the loss of riches, the loss of his sons and daughters, the loss of his possessions, but also his wife to tell him to 'curse God and die'. He has three "friends" come in his time of need to counsel him and tell him there is obviously something that you have done to provoke the wrath of God!
What has really struck me is after Job has listened to his friends and defended God's righteousness throughout, in 29 he begins to defend himself. He starts with when God was watching over him and he talks about how others respected him because of his deeds.
Job 29:12-17- Because I delivered the poor who cried out, the fatherless and the one who had no helper. The blessing of a perishing man came upon me, And I caused the widow's heart to sing for joy. I put on righteousness, and it clothed me; My justice was like a robe and a turban. I was eyes to the blind, and I was feet to the lame. I was a father to the poor, and I searched out the case that I did not know. I broke the fangs of the wicked, And I plucked the victim from his teeth.
I do not know if Job financially supported or physically adopted the fatherless that he speaks of. I find it interesting that he twice in these verses states that he 'delivered the fatherless and the one that had no helper' and 'I was a father to the poor'. Supporting the fatherless has really been jumping out at me lately, since and before we have officially decided to adopt. I guess it is something I had not really noticed before in Job.
Anyway, Job goes on to get frustrated with God. He knows he did not do anything to anger God, yet he feels baffled by God's silence through his trials. And again, I am not trying to pretend I understand all of the book of Job. This is my interpretation. And Job's friend jumps in again with the wrath of God on a self-righteous man. And then.. My favorite chapters in the bible. Although I would not want to be Job that God is talking to in the whirlwind, I cannot help but think that these verses have been aimed at me many times!
Have YOU ever wondered "why ME, or Why God, is this happening?
Job 38:3-"I will question (insert your name) and (insert your name) will answer GOD!"
Scary? My bible states on the side "the one that cannot answer these questions about the universe dare not correct the One who planned and maintains it". How true.
Job 38:4-11- Where were YOU when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell Me, if YOU have understanding. Who determined it's measurements? Surely YOU know! Or who stretched the line upon it? Or to what were it's foundations fastened? Or who laid it's cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together, And all the sons of God shouted for Joy? Or WHO shut in the sea with doors, When it burst forth and issued from the womb; when I made the clouds it's garment, and the thick darkness it's swaddling band; When I fixed my limit for it, and set bars and doors; when I said 'This far you may come, but no further, and here your proud waves must stop!'
I love the remaining chapters in Job! I stoped at verse 11 but I encourage you to read the remaining chapters to see the power of God. He speaks of walking in the treasury of hail and snow reserved for the time of troubles, and entering the springs of the sea or searching for the depths of the oceans. How amazing. The power and majesty of God is revealed but also His love for Job and us all. God gave Job the power to offer a sacrifice to ask forgiveness for his friends. He restored Job his losses and doubled all he had originally had. What a wonderful and loving God we serve!
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Funding
As I mentioned in my previous post, finances was our big mountain that kept us from adopting. We finally, with the urging of God and family, decided to take the leap of faith and started our process last August. We completed loads of papers and passed inspections on our home, well water, and family. January 6, 2012, we were officially Homestudy approved for a child under the age of our youngest child. We have chosen to adopt domestically (from the USA) because there are many children in need of homes and we are not required to travel multiple times leaving our kids behind as we would have with international adoption. Our social worker does not recommend changing the birth order by adopting an older child, and also claims that at times for attention the younger child will get abused. It is for this reason that we are approved only for a child younger than Oliver (3). It would not be fair to adopt a child and treat him/her differently or have something terrible happen to our innocent children. When they are older my goal is to adopt a child from a state waiting program but we are not approved for it at this stage of life.
I believe that it is through this that God was working. We had researched adoption cost and knew we couldn't afford it. We found that we could afford state waiting tho! I also really wanted an older child. I am really not a lover of the first 0-6 months of life. My babies seem to do nothing but eat, puke, and scream. Notice I didn't put sleep? They didn't. Naps? At night? Nope. Just screamed unless they were held, then they were happy little angels. Anyway, we talked to our agency and signed up. We paid the initial fees and started our process. Pretty soon, we paid some more fees and did our Homestudy. It was during our Homestudy that we realized that the $12,000 state waiting program with most back through government grants was really not an option for us. By this time, we were hooked on the idea and could not back out of the child that we had been praying for daily. We do not have the amount of money that is needed to adopt a child, however, and we waver from trusting in God to trying by ourselves. I am to the point that I believe with all my heart that God has led me to this and God will lead me through this.
Matthew 17:20- For truly I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this Mountain, Move from here to there, and it will move; and Nothing will be impossible to you.
Luke 12:29-34- And you, do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink; nor be of anxious mind; for all the world is seeking these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Only aim at and strive for and seek His Kingdom, and all these things shall be supplied to you also. Do not be seized with alarm and struck with fear, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the Kingdom! Sell what you possess and give donations to the poor; provide yourselves with purses and handbags that do not grow old, an unfailing and inexhaustible treasure in the heavens, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also!
The average adoption will cost $30-60+ thousand dollars. That is a lot of money to us. Our adoption will be (estimated) $45-50,000. UPDATE: Sadly, we have exceeded these expectations. Thank you to those that have generously donated money towards our expenses! We strongly feel that Willow was chosen for us by God and we are trusting Him to financially get us through this. We probably spent more on our son's medical bills when he went through chemo. We love Wyatt and it was so very worth it. I feel the same about this child that I haven't met. Somewhere, someone is pregnant with a baby and she doesn't know what to do with it when it's born. God knows. An online concordance tells me (and I didn't verify this myself) that there are 52 verses in the bible about orphans or fatherless children. I believe that there is a huge call to Christians to adopt or help those of us willing to adopt. Our siblings are helping us financially, without them we would not be able to be as far as we are.
I believe that it is through this that God was working. We had researched adoption cost and knew we couldn't afford it. We found that we could afford state waiting tho! I also really wanted an older child. I am really not a lover of the first 0-6 months of life. My babies seem to do nothing but eat, puke, and scream. Notice I didn't put sleep? They didn't. Naps? At night? Nope. Just screamed unless they were held, then they were happy little angels. Anyway, we talked to our agency and signed up. We paid the initial fees and started our process. Pretty soon, we paid some more fees and did our Homestudy. It was during our Homestudy that we realized that the $12,000 state waiting program with most back through government grants was really not an option for us. By this time, we were hooked on the idea and could not back out of the child that we had been praying for daily. We do not have the amount of money that is needed to adopt a child, however, and we waver from trusting in God to trying by ourselves. I am to the point that I believe with all my heart that God has led me to this and God will lead me through this.
Matthew 17:20- For truly I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this Mountain, Move from here to there, and it will move; and Nothing will be impossible to you.
Luke 12:29-34- And you, do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink; nor be of anxious mind; for all the world is seeking these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Only aim at and strive for and seek His Kingdom, and all these things shall be supplied to you also. Do not be seized with alarm and struck with fear, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the Kingdom! Sell what you possess and give donations to the poor; provide yourselves with purses and handbags that do not grow old, an unfailing and inexhaustible treasure in the heavens, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also!
The average adoption will cost $30-60+ thousand dollars. That is a lot of money to us. Our adoption will be (estimated) $45-50,000. UPDATE: Sadly, we have exceeded these expectations. Thank you to those that have generously donated money towards our expenses! We strongly feel that Willow was chosen for us by God and we are trusting Him to financially get us through this. We probably spent more on our son's medical bills when he went through chemo. We love Wyatt and it was so very worth it. I feel the same about this child that I haven't met. Somewhere, someone is pregnant with a baby and she doesn't know what to do with it when it's born. God knows. An online concordance tells me (and I didn't verify this myself) that there are 52 verses in the bible about orphans or fatherless children. I believe that there is a huge call to Christians to adopt or help those of us willing to adopt. Our siblings are helping us financially, without them we would not be able to be as far as we are.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Adoption!
Adoption! What an exciting time! We have chosen to take a giant leap of faith and trust that God will provide for us the finances necessary to bring home the child that He is calling us to adopt. My husband and I have been thinking of adoption for a few years now. We have 3 biological children, all wonderful, healthy boys. We are NOT adopting to get a girl! Although we would be fine with one, we would be equally happy with a 4th boy. We are adopting to help a small soul who doesn't have a family, to listen to the word of God in which we are called to defend the fatherless, and to further the Kingdom of God.
I look at the Loving Shepherd, Cancer Redemption Project, or World Vision websites and see such need but am still in need of persuasion. I am afraid to come out of my comfort zone because we will be giving up our a lot to make ends meet for this adoption. Our spending has been put on a freeze, no vacations, no landscaping, no new vehicles in the near future. This adoption has already cost us $26,000 and our agencies are estimating another $12,000 in birth mother expenses, not including legal fees ($4,500) or travel / living expenses while in California to pick up the baby. If you're wondering, we do not have that sort of money lying around. As for California, I should explain. We are with an agency in Ohio. We were matched with a birth mother in California. We paid our and her agency fees, and a few months later her agency found she was not being truthful. They advised us to back out of the contract. We lost a bit of our birth mother expenses, but not as bad as it could have been. Sadly, we cannot be reimbursed our agency fees. They will transfer to another birth mother, but we are locked into that agency in California unless we want to eat the $26,000 and start all over. The worst part is California does not have a limit on what a birth mother can ask for expenses. Ohio has a cap of $3000. BUT, that is okay. God is in control and He knows why we are waiting on a baby from California.
The point of this first post was not to say the overwhelming cost but to say that we are excited to be trusting that God will bring us a child that not only needs us, but that we need. Like our other children, we will not be able to imagine our lives without him/her and there will be no monetary value that we wouldn't pay to ensure health and safety. It would just be nice to get to that point!
I look at the Loving Shepherd, Cancer Redemption Project, or World Vision websites and see such need but am still in need of persuasion. I am afraid to come out of my comfort zone because we will be giving up our a lot to make ends meet for this adoption. Our spending has been put on a freeze, no vacations, no landscaping, no new vehicles in the near future. This adoption has already cost us $26,000 and our agencies are estimating another $12,000 in birth mother expenses, not including legal fees ($4,500) or travel / living expenses while in California to pick up the baby. If you're wondering, we do not have that sort of money lying around. As for California, I should explain. We are with an agency in Ohio. We were matched with a birth mother in California. We paid our and her agency fees, and a few months later her agency found she was not being truthful. They advised us to back out of the contract. We lost a bit of our birth mother expenses, but not as bad as it could have been. Sadly, we cannot be reimbursed our agency fees. They will transfer to another birth mother, but we are locked into that agency in California unless we want to eat the $26,000 and start all over. The worst part is California does not have a limit on what a birth mother can ask for expenses. Ohio has a cap of $3000. BUT, that is okay. God is in control and He knows why we are waiting on a baby from California.
The point of this first post was not to say the overwhelming cost but to say that we are excited to be trusting that God will bring us a child that not only needs us, but that we need. Like our other children, we will not be able to imagine our lives without him/her and there will be no monetary value that we wouldn't pay to ensure health and safety. It would just be nice to get to that point!
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